As I stare out my bathroom window (it’s the best unobstructed view) at the green breeding pool as it has become affectionately known, I watch my husband in the rain(if you’re one of those people that runs for cover in the rain when doing maintenance on your pool, you have GOT to be kidding me!) scoop the debris from the surface with the leaf net, I can’t help but wonder why I like this season so much. Previously, I saw him throw about 2 pounds of SHOCK into it and stand there, on the edge, watching…..like if by magic it was all going to clear up, crystal clear in that moment. Unfortunately, it killed all the tadpoles, but I wasn’t about to go through THAT again as I did last year. Ok, shoot me, I’m not going green this year.
Summer. It’s here. And in full force.
This means:
Windows are open. Because I don’t want them closed! I spent the last 7 months all cooped up in stagnant air. When spring comes and the temps allow, I open those puppies and breathe in the fresh oxygen! Fans are running full throttle! This annoys my sons to the utmost. Sorry, but I’m in charge of the air circulation in this house. We turn on the A/C and you might as well turn the calendar to October. Or put my bedroom outside. I like to hear nature. I like to hear lawn mowers, I like to smell cut grass. I like the sound of rain.
Humidity. As I attain the golden age of 49, I’m finding it harder and harder to tolerate humidity. And ironically, I’m a water person. I’m at my happiest when I’m near or on the water. But when it’s in the air, I feel like a piece of fly paper. I stick to everything and everything sticks to me.
Bugs. Those little darlings. I’m not afraid of them. I don’t like squashing them, but if they bite me, they’re mincemeat. Mosquitoes, flys, ants, gnats, Japanese beetles and those bugs that hang out in the trees and make those noises when it’s really hot, don’t know how to spell it but they are just nasty! “Deep Forest” OFF is wonderful stuff! So is RAID! I do enjoy the butterflys, though. And the birds.
The Sun. And all it’s warmth. And burning. I’m very fair skinned. And a great candidate for skin cancer. How many times during my adolescence did I just hang out and sun bathe? Oh My God more times than I care to think about! And I never tanned, only burned. I finally accepted the fact that I don’t tan. I have a great relationship with sunblock. My husband made a funny the other day about connecting the dots with my freckles on my arms. Yeah, really funny my man. How ’bout I play connect my fist with your nose?
Bathing suits. God I hate them. I’m not fat, but I don’t think I look good in one. Never did. There are just certain parts of the female body that really shouldn’t be accentuated, like the waistline! And I really have to give high fives and props to those 200+ pound……..um…….women……who wear one. You’re braver than I am. KUDOS TO YOU!
The pool. Yes, the above mentioned breeding pond. The biggest ass ache of my life aside from the three vintage cars we own. Even the two spoiled brats I gave birth to aren’t as big a pain as that damn thing! I will NEVER buy a house with an inground pool again. Last year it was the tadpoles. This year it’s the tadpoles, Fred the toad and his happy humping family members along with the water spiders. To make matters worse, the mice took up residence in the filtration system. Not IN the filter, the PIPES! “Why won’t it pump?” Take a pipe or hose off…..yep….a mouse or nest. If you have any spare dynamite, C4′s, mortars you want to get rid of, mail me at “BLOW MY POOL UP” PO Box MAKE A TENNIS COURT, Dutchietown, USA.
Ice Cream. I eat copious amounts of this stuff every summer. And my arteries will probably haunt me for it.
Thunder storms. I used to literally hide in the closet when I was little when it stormed. Thunder and lightning scared the crap out of me. Now I welcome it. Especially if it’s humid and a cold front is coming though.
Picnics and BBQs. This is the best thing about summer. You can eat foods that you normally don’t eat. Like peas and squash casserole with noodles that Auntie Em made. Or the Marshmallow Supreme with the mango and raisins. And you thought it was the booze that upset your stomach.
Mowing the lawn. After about the middle of July, this gets old really fast. Beat snowblowing though.
Car shows (for me at least). Pre-registration – $15
1/2 tank of gas – $10
Munchies and drinks – $12
Sitting behind my car in 90 degree heat surrounded by chrome and rubber, sucking down the 8th bottle of water, munching on pretzels, cashews, or crackers, listening to vintage music, and forgetting about life for 6 hours – Priceless.
Crickets. Sometimes the Katydids are SO loud, they’re deafening. Usually, they’re out end of July, early August. I heard one this past May. It must be due to Global Warming. Yes, it must be.
Lightning Bugs. Same reason they’re out early this year as above. All that Climate Change. Obama said so.
The Beaches. Or if you’re from New Jersey, it’s “the shore”. We go down the shore. Not the beach. And a dirty little place it is. But the shore and the boardwalk are the places to be. You can get a great sense of life from that. And learn alot. From drugs, to sex, to tatoos, to cultural behaviors, it’s all wrapped up in about 1 mile of wooded pathway. For me, it’s the salty air, the crash of the waves, the horizon, the sunrises, the sunsets. I’m a hopeless romantic and I can spend HOURS just daydreaming while walking along the shoreline.
The mountains. I have fond memories of my lake house in the Poconos. If you ever read my other blog, An Ending, it explains a lot of my attachment for this place. But the mountains are awesome in the summer. Even the bugs are cool.
I may bitch and moan about the season, but when September comes, I’ll get that pit in my stomach and think winter is just around the corner. And be depressed. And wish it was summer.
Then I can bitch about that.
Pass the corn on the cob please.
