The Garage Sale Goddess Has Spoken

Now that I’ve spouted about how to act at a garage sale, I feel it’s time to point out some of the do’s and do not’s of HAVING a garage sale.

Like many of you I’ve been to a gazillion garage/yard sales. And some have been better than others. And for a reason. Not because they had awesome junk stuff, because of the way it was set up and/or priced. Those two things can make or break a good garage sale. There are other factors that can cause a garage sale to be successful or fail miserably. I’ll try to touch on as much as I can. *sigh* Here we go…..

When you decide that you want to have a garage sale, act on it. Start making a collection of crap items. When you see an item you no longer want, grab it and put it in a spot or a box. Just keep adding to it. This way it’s not still sitting in a closet or on a shelf. When you remove the item, there’s an open space! SEE? You’ve started purging and already you have gotten results.

When  you feel you’ve amassed enough stuff, decide on a date. A one or two day or even three day sale is your decision. I’ve done three day sales and almost lost my mind. But it’s up to you.  If  you’ve already lost your mind, then this shouldn’t be a problem.

I would say two weeks before the sale for those who aren’t highly motivated, start pricing your goodies. Do this now, because A)pricing shit the day of or day before is stressful. Nothing hampers a sale than pricing the day of and B) it’s one less thing to worry about. I know I want to see prices on items. I HATE asking “How much is this?” and I’m not alone. And the only advice I can tell you about HOW MUCH to price is  ask yourself “how much would I pay for this at a sale?”. This is a garage sale, not a thrift shop or antique store or flea market. You want to get rid of stuff. And maybe make a little money. Keep in mind: YOU WILL NOT GET DOLLAR VALUE FOR ANY ITEM! If you’re selling a Roseville vase, no, you’re not going to get $150 for it. Even if a collector comes around, they will NOT pay $150 for that vase. So don’t bother putting it out or keep it real and take the hit. Or better yet, sell it on Ebay. Lots of people flip items, like collectibles, so they want BOTTOM  price. Also, if you have items that can’t be hauled out, make a small sign indicating you have your husband’s flat screen tv for sale. Or golf clubs. Or him.

Make sure you have tables and lots of them. Tablecloths are nice too, but not necessary. We all can’t be Martha Stewart.

Signage: VERY IMPORTANT! Not only put an ad in the paper (PLEASE make sure you have your address and time and date in that ad-I’ve seen ads without an address-really!) but make signs and put them around the area. Not just one at the end of the street, go for it! ALL OVER! It does pay off! And make sure you have BIG DARK LARGE ARROWS!! Don’t just put your address. We come from all over the county. We don’t know your area that well. And make the arrows HUGE! I can’t read without my glasses and I don’t always wear them when I’m driving because, well, I don’t. And I can’t read a sign doing 40 mph. No one can. And NO, WE’RE NOT SLOWING DOWN TO READ THEM! I’m not going to risk a car accident for a garage sale. I’ve seen 8 1/2 X 11 sheets of copy paper as garage sale signs. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Ain’t gonna work people! Go to the dollar store and get for a dollar a sheet, POSTER BOARD! Cut it in half. And if you’re like me, you keep them for the NEXT sale you have. I’ve used signs 3 times over. Just take them down carefully. And I just change the date. I’m cheap that way. And get a nice big fat SHARPIE marker. Joey’s Crayola’s don’t cut it.

(remember to take them down AFTER the sale is completely over-there is STILL a sign on a pole from two weeks ago in my area-makes the neighborhood look trashy and you like an idiot)

Make sure when you’re hanging signs, that it’s legal. And you’re not blocking the road way for people to look up or down the road. Nothing’s more annoying than being at a stop sign and a garage sale sign is blocking your vision. Use duct tape or staple gun depending on what you’re hanging the sign onto.

Speaking of hanging signs, you should see this one telephone pole at the end of my street…..there has got to be about 100 billion staples in it…..heeheehee…..I know the town isn’t happy about it. Shoot us.

If you’re having a GARAGE sale, setting up is easy. Back the car out (if you have a garage with a TON of shit in it, this would be an opportune time to clean it out and sell some of it while you’re setting up) and start putting tables up. The beauty of having it in the garage is that you can set it all up, then shut the doors. You get to sleep in later, too.

Now, we’re always at the mercy of the weather when it comes to garage/yard sales. Mother Nature has priorities and if it’s to water the greens of the earth that day, she will do it. And if you’re like me and really anal about getting your car wet (I have a convertible that has leaking issues on one side) a sale in the garage ain’t happenin’. So postpone it. I’m not one for setting up tents.

If the weather is going to cooperate, great. It does make for more work the day of. You now have to get up earlier. Set your tables up (with or without the Martha Stewart look) and start unloading boxes. And you will need to do this, depending on how much stuff you have, at least 1 1/2 hours BEFORE you open.

Prepare for the early birds, whether you want them or not, they’ll appear. They obviously haven’t read my last post.

When unloading your boxes, make sure you display things nicely. Don’t just put things on the table and go. I’m not saying it has to look like a boutique, but put larger things in the back, smaller up front, and try not to layer or put things on top of one another. If you run out of room on tables (either you didn’t have enough tables or you have a crap load of stuff!) get a huge blanket or tarp or drop cloth and put them on there. I’ve over turned big boxes as tables and brought out my picnic table benches. As things sell, you can move that stuff onto the tables.

Make sure you have enough change and bills. I’ve had someone buy a .50 item and hand me a $20 at the very start of the sale. Yeah, the scramble for $19.50 was amazing. Lesson learned on my part. I wouldn’t do more than $35 in bills and coinage.

DO NOT HESITATE TO TELL PEOPLE TO COME BACK LATER IF YOU’RE STILL SETTING UP AND IT’S NOT TIME TO OPEN. I’ve done it. It’s rude to show up early. If they can’t come back, too bad. I’m sorry, but we can’t accommodate everyone. Like I mentioned in my last post, it’s hard to keep an eye on people when you’re setting up. If you have someone selling with you, then maybe you can get away with it. It’s usually just me, so I send them away. Unless, you’re totally set up BEFORE the opening time, then fine.

You’re going to get haggled. People will try to  talk you down on the most inane things! I over heard two women to eachother say that “this is a garage sale, you price pocketbooks at $1″. Who the hell were they? The Price Police? My friend had new, hardly used, and excellent condition purses for sale for $3-$5. She made $200. These two women tried to haggle my friend down. But lost. If you believe your item is priced right, hold firm. Always keep in mind a price you won’t go lower than. If something is priced at $4, accept $3, don’t go lower than $2 if necessary. And don’t lower prices at the beginning of  your sale. Maybe a quarter or so, but not on your bigger items. It’s ok to say “No”. Or “That’s the lowest I’ll go”. Avid garage sale goers are ready for it. You’re not hurting anyone’s feelings.

Of course, there are other factors involved in having a garage sale. Your locale, the type of stuff your selling, time of year, etc. But I think these are the basics. I will admit, I’ve done  horribly at a sale. it’s a hit or miss venture. But when you’re all done, getting rid of some things is a great feeling. I’ve ended up hauling 85% or so of my stuff to the local thrift shop (they only allow about 2 or 3 boxes per visit-it took me a week-that’s how much stuff I had). And see if you’re thrift shop will give you a tax receipt! And you’ll always come away with a story about someone or something that happened.

Good luck at your next sale!

Thoughts on Driving

I am going to tell you and I’ve said this twice before, I’m not a saint. And when it comes to driving, I’ve had my share of road rage and vengeance. But for the most part, I’m a very considerate and careful driver. It’s not hard. Common sense is the key here people.

Here’s a list of don’t and do’s for the road and some observations that I’ve observed in my 31 years of motoring:

1) If you’re lost, don’t drive 10 mph looking at every single street sign, braking every 30 feet or so. Pull over and let all the rest of us that have a clue as to where we’re going get by. Why do we have to suffer for your screw up?

2) If you’ve missed your turn, DON’T decide to just make your U-Turn in the middle of the road the minute you’ve discovered this! Panicking doesn’t help! It won’t hurt to go a couple hundred extra FEET to find an open parking lot or driveway to get back to your destination. Besides, it’s hell on your transmission.

3) Don’t you love the ones with the directional signal going off for miles?

4) I’m finding this most annoying out here…..when entering a MAJOR highway and you do have the open space to get on….ACCELERATE! Punch it if you have to! Get those 4 cylinders churning out the 95 brake horsepower to get onto the highway! The people behind you will appreciate it since they, too, have to get onto the highway.

5) Horns. Yes, I love my horn. It’s one of the best ways of letting someone know “YO, DUDE, I’m HERE!” It’s gets people’s attention! Even if you want to let them know they’re #1!

6) Why do people, who are doing 75mph on Rt. 80 put their brakes lights on? For no reason? No one is around them. Only the poor slob, mostly me, is behind them. And I’m not tailgating. If you need to slow down, just coast. Or move your hyper active ass to the slower lane.

7) This happened tonight: In the middle lane, 70 mph, cruising with the guy in front of me, no one in the left lane, the guy behind feels compelled to pass on the right. Did I transport to England or something? What was that all about? I mean, he didn’t do any harm, but it was just so random.

8 ) Toll booths. Ya gotta love them. Once you’ve paid, it’s like a day at the races. “And they’re off”….especially on the Garden State Parkway when you have a 20 booth toll and at least 12 cars leaving the booths all at the same time and all accelerating to see who can get into the three (narrow, mind you) lanes first! All you see are cars frantically switching lanes, and some poor person ends up on the shoulder for a moment because no one would let him in. Almost like “musical chairs”.

9) Of course, there’s always the road construction when they close off a lane for about 5 miles and there’s no work being done in that length of road. Meanwhile, there’s a 3 mile backup of people merging into two lanes and this one lane is just sitting there free and clear. Then up the road, there’s a sign that reads “Road work to be done on or about such and such a date”.  And not a soul around.

10) “Your Highway Taxes At Work” sign. Have you ever slowed down to read the rest of it? Are you kidding me?

11) School buses are my biggest nemesis. I could gripe about these for HOURS! I hate them. They can take a 15 minute ride and turn it into a 45 minute torture chamber. And they wonder why people get road rage.

12) I love the game drivers play with high beams. One is coming down the road with their high beams on. I have mine on as well. Who will turn their’s down first?

13) When we want the car to go faster, why do we make the motion in the driver’s seat, you know the one, you rock yourself back and forth, like it’s going to make the car go faster?

14) I’m not going to say too much about the text messaging or cell phone use. We all have seen it, roll our eyes, and just choke it up to ignorance. Did you know that you can’t use your directional signals if you have the phone in your left hand and are steering with your right?

15) Senior citizens make me nervous. That’s all I’m going to say. Ok, I’ll add this: Usually if there’s a 20 car back up behind you, there’s a Q-Tip in front.