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Go Dog, Go!

Most of you know this book from Dr. Seuss. I was read it MANY times when I was little and read it myself MANY times. Then I read it MANY times to my kids.

But this post isn’t about Dr. Seuss books. I may do one later.

I love animals. Furry kinds or party. I’ve had a cat since I can remember. I was the one that would bring the injured bird home and try to foster it in a vintage bird cage my mom had since the 50′s only to have the poor thing die. Funeral services were held, tears shed but I would move on. Until the next poor soul was found.

I would find garter snakes and put them in my beach coat pocket at our lake house and carry them around. “Can I keep him George, can I? Can I? Oh boy oh boy”. My poor parents. They were just waiting for the day I’d bring home a bear or injured possum.

My mom used to feed the racoons. Every night there was Esther and her babies and mom would give her the dinner scraps from that night. It was great watching them eat corn on the cob. She also liked to feed the deer. Dad was patient. He would diligently put deer food out every other day or so. And about a dozen would trod through the snow and eat. Mom loved it.  These were the days you could do that and not worry about encouraging the wildlife into your yard for fear of them moving in and mauling you.

As much as I would love to have animals, I don’t have the acreage or room. The most I’ve had is 4 cats. I’m down to one now and 4 chickens. They stay outside. They don’t make much noise. I had a dog for a week once. I was keeping it for someone who couldn’t have  it until another owner was found. Tigger, my cat, rarely goes outside anymore since he’s going on 9 years. I’ve always done my best to control my pets by making sure they weren’t digging in gardens to poop or clawing trees (which they never did).

My neighbors on my one side have a small Scottie dog named Webster. Barks occasionally, but only when it wants to go in after being let out to pee. Doesn’t bark at me when it’s outside with his owner while he rakes the yard. They, too, control the dog if it seems to be straying. It has occasionally sneaked out under their fence, but only when the daughter’s visiting and has brought her Scottie named Allie (not a name I would choose). Little instigator. It’s kind of amusing actually.

Now, on the OTHER side of me are newer neighbors. Not new to the area, he was brought up about a mile down the road where his mother still lives and runs their sanitation business. So he has that smugness of  “I grew up here so don’t tell me what to do”. He moved in with an elderly dog who died about 3 months later. We knew another one would probably be acquired.

We were wrong.

They acquired two.

Puppies. One black lab, one stupid white lab mix or something.

Because Nicole wanted a new dog and the owner just couldn’t decide on which one to get. So he answered BOTH ads in the paper.

He did fence in a portion of the back yard. The white lab would get out occasionally (I think Nicole would let it out just to watch the bedlam that ensued as well as the attention she would get -negative attention-but attention). I was recruited a couple times to help round up this varmit. He thought it a game and would let you get within 3 feet of him and then he’d take off, find some deer, run through some neighborhood yards and be gone. Eventually, he would come home.

One local had had enough, threatened to shoot “the dame thing” if it came into his yard and ran through his garden again. He was drunk. And it is legal to shoot a dog if it’s in your yard. Welcome to Pennsylvania.

Oh, did I mention they like to bark?

They’ll bark at EVERYTHING! Name it, they’ll bark at it.

Said neighbor has purchased one of the “No Bark” mechanisms and mounted it on one of the fence posts. It worked for about 3 days. And it only works if it’s “ON”.

Nicole turns it off. I swear this is the evil spawn child of Satan. She will be a handful when she turns 12. She’s 10.

Why said neighbor doesn’t tell evil spawn child to leave it on or beat the crap out of her is beyond me. She wants attention? I’ll give her attention!

When said neighbor leaves for work in the morning at 4am (never ceases to let us know what time he goes to work-like he’s a real man or something) he let’s the dogs out! They will bark at the sun rising or something. THEN….SHE goes to work, leaving them outside. If they don’t, they destroy the house (can you say “CAGE”?). So it’s “Free reign baby!! Whoo Hoooo…….let’s have a bark party” and they won’t shut up. You can’t go outside without being barked at. You can’t get into or out of your car without being barked at. Said neighbor has asked us if the dogs barking bothers us and we’ve said yes, but he does nothing about it.

They are no longer puppies. They’re about a year old now.

Well, my husband let him know today that it really is bothering us. He yelled at the dog, rattled the fence, yelled at the neighbor, they waved back and I haven’t heard the dogs since. You mean to tell me they can’t hear those dogs barking? I know it’s got to be one reason why the people on the other side of them are moving.  It’s going to be an interesting weekend.

Why don’t people have consideration and take responsibility or control of their animals?

 

 

There Will Be A Test Tomorrow

Photo courtesy of Goodle Images

I figure I’d combine a Thanksgiving sentiment along with this Plinky prompt.

I blogged about things happening for a reason once before. The time I was in Home Depot’s paint department minding my own business when a woman with a small dog in her cart who seemed to know all the employees was in front of me. She was talking up a storm. Some how I got caught up in the conversation as I waited for my paint to get done having the shit shaken out of it.

She seemed like a nice person, but her life was a mess. Working on her second divorce, a law suit in the making, the dogs issues, having her home renovated, health problems, it went on. As I stood there listening to her life story, I some how ended up with her email address, Twitter id, and Facebook name. She said over and over what a nice person I was and what a pleasure it was to meet me.

It also turns out the only reason she knew all the employees wasn’t because she worked there once. She was in there CONSTANTLY! She was on a first name basis with them! She was probably just updating them with the latest on her plights of life.

When I got home with my freshly shaken to death can of paint, I wondered “Did that really just happen?” I actually sat down for a minute and had to run the whole episode through my brain once more to sort it all out. It was really a bizarre occurrence.

To this day I have NO idea why I met this woman. Maybe I should have followed up with the emails and Facebook. She just had SO many problems that I really didn’t need to add that to my steady, quiet, but mundane existence. She was a whirl wind. I’m pretty mellow.

Then there was this: I had a neighbor for just over a year. She was a little younger than me, had a cute little boy that I adored (not so much her wacky ass husband) and we got along great. I helped her move in, helped her paint and decorate and we had hilarious garage sales together. People would ask if we were sisters. Then she moved. I was so depressed. But I look back and wonder why she was in my life for such a short time. It had to be that she introduced my husband and I to a lawn sweep. Yes, a landscaping tool (see picture above).

My husband and I are blessed with oak trees and their off-spring of acorns along with a tonage of leaves. Over the years we tried EVERYTHING imaginable to clear the lawn of leaves and nuts. We even broke out the shop vac. My son would be asked by his friends “Dude, was that your dad vacuuming your lawn yesterday?”

Then my friend showed us this miracle implement. Attach it to your lawn tractor and it picks up the leaves as well as tree nuts! What stupid rock have WE been living under all these years? What a back saver!

I’m still trying to figure out why fate has moved my sorry ass out to Pennsylvania. Maybe to make me appreciate the friends I had in New Jersey more. But for whatever reason, it’s part of my destiny. Life is a learning lesson. We just have to be smart enough to understand, recognize and do the homework. And we get tested now and then. Pass or fail. Hopefully, more times than not, you pass.

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More Things I Dislike

I’ve come across some more things I don’t like. But I think I’m going to call this the “On Notice” list.  I just read this on another blog post called “On Notice” which was very humorous! Go take  a look at it. I like that better than “The Hate List”. So these things are “On Notice”.

Commercials

I actually did my own little research on this. I watched “The View” one day and I swear I’ll never watch it again. 5 grown woman doing nothing but talking over one another. The guest never had a chance to speak! It’s like sitting at the local diner! Yak Yak Yak Yak….. But I digress. After timing each segment, then each commercial, it turns out that there was 40 minutes total of commercials, 19 minutes of the actual show itself. The longest commercial break was almost 15 minutes long! I’m happy to say that BBC America came out on top with the least amount of commercials per one hour show. And people can’t figure out why I didn’t see a show they’ve been raving about all week. I got up and turn it off. TOO MANY COMMERCIALS!

Neighbors

Ok, I blogged about this recently. I sometimes feel I’ve stepped into the twilight zone.  I’ve had my share of crazies. From drunken encounters to animal rescues, I’ve had enough. I can’t imagine what they think of us and our small fleet of automobiles.

Lady Gaga

Why someone with such a wonderful, strong and dynamic voice has to perform like she’s on a bad acid trip. She’s not unattractive, and her music isn’t that bad. What do I know about public relations and publicity? Nothing. That’s why she’s making millions and I’m sitting in front of this computer.

Britain’s Speed Cameras

Though I am not living in this fair country, I REALLY feel these have to go! They’re only there for capital gains (they insist that they’re there for traffic control…yeah, right). Let the people put their foot down and let loose on the freeway! There are better ways to control speeders. They know better than to erect ANYTHING of the sort in the USA.  Paintball gun sales would rocket. They’d be trying to erect new cameras as fast as we would be reloading.

Eco Friendly Cars

Besides having stupid names, they’re just plain ugly! And all their grills look like they’re smiling….happily….saving the environment….and laughing in your face.

Customer Service

I don’t know ANYONE that likes calling these people. “Oh, I get to call Customer Service today! I’m SO excitied! I can’t wait!” I’d rather get a mammography. And how embarrassing it must be when you admit to someone that you work in Customer Service. Everyone within ear shot has just given you a dirty look and your date has just moved 5 feet away from you and has just remembered that he hasn’t fed his pet fish and must leave. It’s even more fun when you’re connected to someplace half way around the world…..such as Bombay India. Not only are you getting customer service, you’re getting a cultural language lesson as well.

The View

I’ve decided to add this one last dislike. I watched it once for my little research project and couldn’t stand it because it was nothing but cackling hens sitting at a breakfast table. I can see that shit at the local diner. Or visit any kid’s soccer game. It was the most painful 60 minutes of my life! I’d rather have gone to the dentist! That would have been more productive!  Then I was forced to watch it in Drs. waiting rooms. And they’re still cackling. Over eachother. Trying to out joke  one another. They seem to have forgotten that they’re on the air and just ramble on about whatever. This is what gives us housewives a bad name. And it’s one of the most popular talk shows on tv? I’m not seeing it.

Love Thy Neighbor – NOT

After living in 6 different houses during the interim of my life, I’ve come to the conclusion that neighbors will always bother me. Which is really strange because I’m a pretty giving person, laid back,  nonchalant, considerate and easy going. Maybe it’s just not me. Maybe it’s the neighbor. Neighborly etiquette. You do your best to NOT slam the car door when you come home at the butt crack of dawn. Mowing your lawn at 8am really isn’t a good idea, that’ll definitely piss someone off. Fence your dog. Nothing is more irritating than having the neighbor’s dog take a poo on your freshly mowed lawn. And we all know the stories of retaliation.

Meet Ronnie. And his ’57 Chevy. And his bitches. He would come home drunk at 2am, sit in his half restored relic, and blast the radio. Every time we hear “When A Man Loves A Woman” I swear my husband starts to twitch.  I could go on with this one….the women, the upstairs bedroom window, his ex wives….we moved.

I had a neighbor next door who was German. I’m still waiting for the Lemon Meringue Pie she said she was going to bake me…..as soon as she and her husband were finished observing (nosing is more the word) the trench we made for the above ground pool we were installing. They had a granddaughter who thought she was Liza Minnelli while driving up and down the sidewalk in her “too small for her” Power Wheels (Barbie no less).  She and her husband didn’t get along. She was calling him to come in for dinner once; he was in the backyard: “Deena iss veddy, come now!” his reply: “I’ll be right there, (and under his breath) in 10 minutes.”

Then there were the neighbors that threw a Sweet 16 party with strippers for their daughter (the strippers were guy friends of hers….a year older who popped out of a cake!).  They’ve since moved.

The neighbors on our left? They don’t do too much, except take 2 hours to mow 2/3 of an acre of land. He’s really anal, too, about his lawn. We’re in Pennsylvania of all places…you know….PENN’S WOODS! He either uses the hand mower or the tractor or BOTH. This guy is the only person I know who can make lawn mowing on a tractor a recreational leisure sport.

I can’t imagine what the neighbors think of us.

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