Lessons Learned

Being that I haven’t been on a so called “vacation” in about 12 years, I’m not really used to being away from home for more than three days. I’ve gone to visit friends for an over night or for a couple days, but that’s about the extent of my R&R.

So you’ll have to bare with me (not to be confused with BEING bare with me) as I’m still reelin’ from this.

When I was asked by my father to stay with him while his “girlfriend” (I use that term loosely) underwent a surgical procedure, I was more than happy to “hang out” with dad for a week. Hell, it was at the lake, the bitch wasn’t going to be there and I hadn’t had a decent visit with my dad in years.  That week turned into 2 1/2 weeks. Not to say it was horrible. I mean, I was on a lake, in the woods where it’s very quiet! All I really had to do was make sure dad didn’t fall and to make sure he took his meds. I had my boat, my computer, my oldest was with me, and all was good.

Sort of. I had no internet (dad doesn’t do computers) or phone service (T Mobile rots). I had to go either to the top of my driveway for SOME service or downtown. I must have played over 100 games of Spider Solitaire and only won two of them.

Not to get into the “interesting” details of those past weeks and bore you, I have learned the following. I’m also passing on some useful advice for whenever you go on a prolonged vacation:

Men don’t food shop.

Well, they do, but not logically. Calcium comes in the form of ice cream. Proteins are deli sandwiches, Dinty Moore Beef Stew and hot dogs. I will give my husband credit-he made, from scratch, cucumber salad from a recipe!! We have a bumper crop of cukes, so he actually took it upon himself to be Julia Child for a moment. Unfortunately, no Next Foodnetwork Chef here.

Bring TWO pair of sunglasses.

This way when you lose a pair(or sit a one), you’ll have back up. ‘Nuf said.

Make sure a Mall is near by wherever you are.

Sanity is important when it’s raining or your forced to wait around for someone while they’re visiting someone in the hospital. especially if it’s someone you really don’t care about visiting. If you need to know what stores are in the Galleria Mall in Middletown, NY, let me know. Oh, they know me well at Target as well. The employees are ultra friendly.

Have iPod, will travel.

Stealing internet from local establishments isn’t a crime. Shame on them if they don’t secure it. Of course, there is fake internet. You’re connected but they have so many firewalls and site blockers that all you can access is THEIR website. Therefore, you’re forced to play “Angry Birds”. Make sure you have tons of music loaded on your iPod as well.

I thank “Irene’s Kitchen” (wasn’t really a kitchen, more like a candy/ice cream shop, I thought it was a luncheonette) for their free WiFi.

Bars, restaurants and concert halls are not the only places you’ll find a piano.

Orange Regional Medical Center is brand spankin’ new as of August 5. I was privileged to experience this. Their front lobby with cathedral ceiling and orchid plants housed a baby grand piano in the corner with a smooth jazz pianist at the keys. Impressive! The gift shop wasn’t anything to sneeze at either. The coffee shop would give Star Bucks a run for their coffee beans! I was half expecting someone in black tie and tails to come up to me with a tray with a champagne glass on it. “Champagne Madam?”. No thank  you, but I will have a beer.

Appointments with doctors aren’t real.

It’s a rare thing seeing your doctor at the appointed time you were assigned or called for. A 9:00am appoint will turn into a 9:45am appointment.

And it will only last 15 minutes. I swear doctors have little timers in their lab coats that vibrate when 15 minutes is up.

Allow 5 minutes extra time for EVERYTHING.

Elderly men walk slow.

Real slow.

Over pack.

When I left my happy home here in NE PA, it was 85 degrees and humid. I brought with me 4 tank tops, 4 pairs of shorts, 2 pairs of cropped jeans and one pair of long denim jeans as well as some t shirts and one nice blouse, my sneakers, nice pair of Sketchers and flip flops, tons of undies and an extra bra (I always bring an extra bra…..imagine if your bra strap broke or something!!!).  Good thing I over packed! Not only was my stay extended, but the temp never got to 80 degrees in the mountains and it rained 7 out of the 17 days I was up there.

This is why there’s weather.com.

Some women are just assholes.

No matter how hard you try or what you do, some women aren’t ever appreciative. Next time? The flowers on the deck will die.

Hoarding

….is a sickness. I have a candidate for TLC. In this case, tough love was the answer.  When the princess is away, the witch will play….BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA….stupid packets!

ATM’s

I’m not the type of person that carries a ton of money around. No one is. I also hate using my credit card (I don’t know anyone that does either) But I don’t like ATM’s. Too tempting. I never had an ATM card until recently. Never needed one. My bank just got sold and EVERYONE was issued an ATM/DEBIT card.  On this little venture, it was a god send since I didn’t have my checkbook on me.  Since I was in the sticks, driving anywhere was taxing the gas tank (and my engine-I wasn’t expecting to be driving 35 minutes every other day to Middletown, NY-UP AND DOWN MOUNTAINS-my poor little ’94 Exploder was just about living up to its name). Also, I don’t care where you go to grocery shop FOOD IS EXPENSIVE! Thank you VISA. It’s everywhere you are!

Ford Exploder

You can fit A-LOT of garbage and recyclables as well as cardboard in the back of these trucks!

And if your truck all of a sudden starts running like shit, check your vacuum hoses. Amazing how well it will run when they’re in position.

 

I’m ready for next time, minus the piano player at the Medical Center.  I don’t care if I ever see that place again. But I will definitely make a stop at the Galleria Mall to say hi to my friends in Target!

 

My 15 Minutes of Fame. Not How I’d Like To See It.

After my son’s accident, police videos on both the internet and television of the incident surfaced as well as the news article. I understand all that is public knowledge. But when I saw my house number as well as the street address published, I was mortified. I called the local paper where it had appeared and told them of my dissatisfaction of their editing policies.

Doesn’t “edit” mean to revise, change, or correct? The Digital Editor’s excuse? “There may be more than one person with that name.” Are you fucking kidding me?

The police were compassionate enough to inform the local tv news to not disturb us. I was bothered twice at the hospital by the local television station. One point they wanted to know the status, from his mother, on his condition. I told them “he’s ok”. and left it at that. Then they wanted an interview. I declined. That will be short lived though, they will more than likely want to interview us in about a month.

This is not what I want my 15 minutes of fame to be like.

As a matter of fact, I’m not sure what all the hullabaloo is all about. My son rolled his truck. Three very brave and determined officers pulled him from the burning carnage. He was flown to the hospital. He survived. Yes, I’m extremely grateful!

This happens often. We see it on the “COPS” programs, all the patrol car footage of drunk drivers being beligerant, the near misses and not so near misses of accidents and the amazing, such as my son’s accidents seems to be. Stay tuned, it’ll be on one of those shows someday.

Many of my friends can’t believe how calm I am. I’m a mom. I’ve always had this in back of my head that this may happen some day. I was somewhat prepared for that phone call…..I use somewhat loosely.  I did get upset when I saw him in the ICU with a dozen tubes hooked up to him. But I got over it. I had to concentrate on what next. I moved forward.

Again, I’m a mom. My instincts told me he was going to be fine. And I’m happy about that. Everyone is happy about that. And life goes on.

But it doesn’t end there. No one thinks about the aftermath. The insurance inquiries are never ending and very demanding. A questionnaire we received last week was followed up with a “did you receive our questionnaire that we sent you?” this week. Phone calls from the same insurance companies as well as the fire Marshall, helicopter service that medivacced him to the hospital, the VOLUNTEER ambulance squad that just billed us, the hospital itself……it doesn’t end. I don’t mind the calls from friends. They are always welcome.

We’ll be faced with what someone described as “a shoebox of bills” in the mail. And of course, the court appearance that my husband and I will have to go to with our son. He’s going to probably lose his license because his blood alcohol was above the norm and will probably get a speeding fine.

There’s also the trips to the rehab hospital everyday, getting up at 6am to be there. Then outpatient rehab that’ll have to be dealt with. Prescriptions that will have to be filled. Sleepless nights when he comes home from rehab, making sure he’s not up and wandering around or trying to take the neck brace off.

Don’t ask me to get up in front of a crowd and commemorate anyone. Yes, I’ve spoken to the police officer who saved my child’s life already, thanked him profusely. I can’t thank the ICU staff enough for their compassion, attentiveness and words of comfort. Amazing people! Same for the Rehab staff. They are what make this whole ordeal bareable!

My son is alive and recovering nicely. It is remarkable he has come this far in such a short time. But this is no cause to celebrate. My life will be a total hell with the months to come with paper work and belligerent insurance agents as well as the media.

I’m not seeing it. Tell me what all the hullabaloo is all about.

Life On Hold…I won’t be around for awhile…maybe for an update

4:55am 6/26/10

“Hello?”

“Is this the so and so residence? Does a R J live here at this number?”

“Um, yes, and who are you?”

“This is Saint Lukes Hospital calling….”

Yes, this is the phone call every parent fears. The inevitable phone call from a police station or hospital telling you your son or daughter has been involved in a car accident. I received that call this morning.

My son rolled his F150 pickup truck at 2am. Not sure why, but the truck caught fire. Thankfully, First Response was there to pull him out and they medivaced him to the hospital. He is in stable, but critical condition. There is a brain injury and multiple contusions to it as well. His face has many broken bones and his neck has a broken bone as well. Luckily, so far there is no paralysis. It will be a long haul to healing.

As I write this, I should be showering and heading back to the hospital. But I just wanted to let people know that I won’t be blogging too much in the days to come. I may post an update here and there or if something strikes me funny, I’ll write about it.

Hug your kids. Tell them you love them. You never know……………………..