Christmas Storage and Memory Loss

Each year I have a dilemma:

Where to store the Christmas presents.

It’s gotten to the point that I’m putting them in places that I can’t remember because of the lack of space in this house.

Last year I bought “The Pacific” DVD box set. It was suggested by my husband that the kids would really love to have this. Ok, who am I to argue with a bunch of WWII historians. The day I decided to go purchase said box set I had a nasty ass cold. I trudge to Barnes and Nobles with my head stuffed up and in the twilight zone. I somehow managed to make it to the video department in the back of the store (I was so stuffed up I couldn’t even smell the coffee that was brewing in the cafe) walk aimlessly around looking for the set, ask a clerk who said “Oh, it’s in the rack right behind you”, I say “No shit, really?”, turn around and with a ray of light that shone down upon said DVD box set, there it sat in it’s little spot amongst the other box sets. After purchasing said box set, I wandered over to some other part of the store where my cell phone rings and while trying to concentrate on what game to buy and talk to my friend I put some of my stuff down on a table because I was just completely exhausted. By this time my eyes are tearing and my nose is running. I finally told my friend I was about to die and that I would call her after the funeral.

SO…..after telling my car to get me home because I was totally incapable of doing it myself, I unpacked the B&N bags, wrapped everything to the best of my incoherent ability and hid everything. At least I thought I did.

Christmas Eve I find everything in it’s hiding place including the trunk of my car and put it under the tree. All is good with the world

Christmas Day everything is ducky. Then it hits me: Did anyone open the package with the DVD box set in it? I ask. The kids look at me like I’m losing it. “Mom lost a gift? That’s not right! Mom NEVER loses gifts. She’s super organized!” Now I’m racking my brain. For hours I’m harping on this. Did I leave it on that table? Did I even BUY IT??I was so out of it that day who knows. I was getting a pit in my stomach with the mere fact that I might have left it at the store and someone picked it up and took it!  I tore my closet apart, looked in drawers, under beds…nothing. Finally, at dinner a box of rocks smacks me in the head! I look up from dinner plate at my husband with this deer in the headlights look. I jump up from my chair and ran in the garage. Everyone is “wondering what the hell is wrong with her?”

I went into my car and under the driver’s seat is the box set. I remember I put it there just in case the  kids were present and I didn’t want them to ask what was in the bags. So I stuffed it under the seat to get later.

I was so relieved! All was good with the world again.

This year EVERYTHING is being crammed into my closet.  Now if I could only remember what I did with my son’s box of ornaments.

Where’s the best place that you store your goodies for Christmas?

Santa’s Helpers

Could you imagine being a toy designer? Is that what they’re even called?

Think about all the toys that are out there. Is there anything left to develop? There are super hero toys out that wazoo. And they’re always reinventing Barbie. What HASN ‘T she done? Don’t answer that! How many renditions of amusement parks with little people that don’t have arms or legs can there be? There are over a million Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars as well as Johnny Lightening and Ertle. Trucks and cars of mass destruction as well!

Games of life, banking, candy, ladders, fairies, mysteries, war, space, Hollywood, strategy, headaches, numbers, dice, school, dating, matching, concentrating, guessing, dressing and stressing.

With all the building sets out there minus the LEGO you could erect one hell of a structure to rival the Eiffel Tower. LEGO alone could be it’s own country including it’s own space program!

Baby dolls that do everything but help around the house. Slackers! Hey, I may have hit on something there-Merry Maid Meredith Babydoll! She can coo, she can poo, she does dishes, too!

Even outdoor toys that can make your child the next Tiger Woods, Bret Favre, David Beckham, or Josh Hamilton. You can even be a rock star!

What’s left? What a daunting task it must be to come up with a toy that is different, unique, and most of all-fun. It has to be cool, safe, age appropriate, and parent friendly. But somehow, someway, someone is going to come up with a new game or toy this holiday season. It’ll be interesting to see what creative mind will have the winning must-have under the tree this year. And how much China will make off it.

It’s NOT The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

You can’t evade it.

You can’t even hide from it.

It always finds you even if you think you’ve eluded it for a time.

Christmas shopping.

It’s fast approaching.

And I don’t even want to go into the “card giving” issue. Which is a whole other blog post in itself.

I Christmas shop all year long, not on purpose, but if I see an item for my kids or husband that they may like, I’ll buy it and find a place to hide it for, oh, 9 months or so. In a small house like mine, that can be a challenge, especially if it’s bigger than a breadbox. I figure doing it this way alleviates the pressure in November and December. But it doesn’t always work. I usually end up doing it 8 weeks before the big day.

But I’ve always thought what a preposterous ritual it all is (that and wakes). Especially in this day and age of losing homes, foreclosures, unemployment, cut backs and just not enough money. What the hell are we all thinking? I mean it’s just absurd to go out and buy such exuberant amounts of items all at once. No wonder everyone is going bankrupt! Happy Fucking Holidays my ass!

It’s one thing to purchase birthday gifts. That’s two, three, maybe four items. But Christmas is just a whole bizarre shopping frenzy!

Let’s say you decided “NO! I’m not doing it this year. I’ll send cards or make cookies for everyone”. Grandma Martha, who did go out and buy copious amounts of items for everyone on HER list, will be hurt that she didn’t get anything from you (she’s diabetic and can’t eat cookies, though she did enjoy your card). So you got ANOTHER pair of Christmas socks from her….”it’s the thought that counts” and well, there wasn’t much thought in it now was there? Better than the magazine subscription to “Psychology Today” (my mom used to get that! Talk about B-O-R-I-N-G!) that Uncle Martin and Aunt Clara got you the year before and you hope to hell they don’t renew it for you!

What about the gift you probably didn’t really like, how do you recipricate that? You hated the item you received, choked on your “thank you, I love it!” and now you’re stuck with a CD of the Boston Pops do Barry Manilow. You have this ingrained in your memory, the CD is still in it’s wrapper, and you can’t even give it away on Ebay. Hmmm, rewrapping it MIGHT work if they’re suffering from dementia. Or give them the socks Grandma Martha gave you LAST year and hope she doesn’t make you lift your pants leg to see if you’re wearing them. Payback can be a REAL bitch!

I don’t even remember what I bought last year for my family and I get away with it easily. I only have my two boys and my husband and I don’t even have to buy him anything. I told him not to get me anything because he just stresses over what to get me. He’ll go to Walmart with a shopping cart and go up and down the isles. For three years in a row I got magenta colored gloves. I still have a set in my closet, still in the package. I’m set for life with gloves especially magenta colored ones. Measuring cups, knick knacks, decorative bottles, I don’t know what he’s thinking. Jewelry my man, music CD’s, stuff for my car…am I THAT hard to shop for? So I just told him to save his soul and don’t bother. Last year he bought as a “family gift” this mechanical dog that you strap to your leg and when you turn it on, it looks like it’s humping you all the while making these “AHHH, OOOOOH, AAAHHH” until it climaxes. It was funny the first umpteen times we did it on Christmas day. It’s sitting in my closet somewhere now. Great. I’m thinking “garagesale”…….

Every year, though, we march out into the cold cruel world of retail, wholesale, and just “on-sale” and beat our brains til it’s pulp for 4 or 5 months of VISA and MasterCard payments, stuff we may or may not use (usually the latter), and standing on line to return something you either bought LAST year or doesn’t fit. And then we turn around and do it ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

I don’t know anyone that enjoys Christmas shopping. What a bunch of masochists we are!