Lessons Learned

Being that I haven’t been on a so called “vacation” in about 12 years, I’m not really used to being away from home for more than three days. I’ve gone to visit friends for an over night or for a couple days, but that’s about the extent of my R&R.

So you’ll have to bare with me (not to be confused with BEING bare with me) as I’m still reelin’ from this.

When I was asked by my father to stay with him while his “girlfriend” (I use that term loosely) underwent a surgical procedure, I was more than happy to “hang out” with dad for a week. Hell, it was at the lake, the bitch wasn’t going to be there and I hadn’t had a decent visit with my dad in years.  That week turned into 2 1/2 weeks. Not to say it was horrible. I mean, I was on a lake, in the woods where it’s very quiet! All I really had to do was make sure dad didn’t fall and to make sure he took his meds. I had my boat, my computer, my oldest was with me, and all was good.

Sort of. I had no internet (dad doesn’t do computers) or phone service (T Mobile rots). I had to go either to the top of my driveway for SOME service or downtown. I must have played over 100 games of Spider Solitaire and only won two of them.

Not to get into the “interesting” details of those past weeks and bore you, I have learned the following. I’m also passing on some useful advice for whenever you go on a prolonged vacation:

Men don’t food shop.

Well, they do, but not logically. Calcium comes in the form of ice cream. Proteins are deli sandwiches, Dinty Moore Beef Stew and hot dogs. I will give my husband credit-he made, from scratch, cucumber salad from a recipe!! We have a bumper crop of cukes, so he actually took it upon himself to be Julia Child for a moment. Unfortunately, no Next Foodnetwork Chef here.

Bring TWO pair of sunglasses.

This way when you lose a pair(or sit a one), you’ll have back up. ‘Nuf said.

Make sure a Mall is near by wherever you are.

Sanity is important when it’s raining or your forced to wait around for someone while they’re visiting someone in the hospital. especially if it’s someone you really don’t care about visiting. If you need to know what stores are in the Galleria Mall in Middletown, NY, let me know. Oh, they know me well at Target as well. The employees are ultra friendly.

Have iPod, will travel.

Stealing internet from local establishments isn’t a crime. Shame on them if they don’t secure it. Of course, there is fake internet. You’re connected but they have so many firewalls and site blockers that all you can access is THEIR website. Therefore, you’re forced to play “Angry Birds”. Make sure you have tons of music loaded on your iPod as well.

I thank “Irene’s Kitchen” (wasn’t really a kitchen, more like a candy/ice cream shop, I thought it was a luncheonette) for their free WiFi.

Bars, restaurants and concert halls are not the only places you’ll find a piano.

Orange Regional Medical Center is brand spankin’ new as of August 5. I was privileged to experience this. Their front lobby with cathedral ceiling and orchid plants housed a baby grand piano in the corner with a smooth jazz pianist at the keys. Impressive! The gift shop wasn’t anything to sneeze at either. The coffee shop would give Star Bucks a run for their coffee beans! I was half expecting someone in black tie and tails to come up to me with a tray with a champagne glass on it. “Champagne Madam?”. No thank  you, but I will have a beer.

Appointments with doctors aren’t real.

It’s a rare thing seeing your doctor at the appointed time you were assigned or called for. A 9:00am appoint will turn into a 9:45am appointment.

And it will only last 15 minutes. I swear doctors have little timers in their lab coats that vibrate when 15 minutes is up.

Allow 5 minutes extra time for EVERYTHING.

Elderly men walk slow.

Real slow.

Over pack.

When I left my happy home here in NE PA, it was 85 degrees and humid. I brought with me 4 tank tops, 4 pairs of shorts, 2 pairs of cropped jeans and one pair of long denim jeans as well as some t shirts and one nice blouse, my sneakers, nice pair of Sketchers and flip flops, tons of undies and an extra bra (I always bring an extra bra…..imagine if your bra strap broke or something!!!).  Good thing I over packed! Not only was my stay extended, but the temp never got to 80 degrees in the mountains and it rained 7 out of the 17 days I was up there.

This is why there’s weather.com.

Some women are just assholes.

No matter how hard you try or what you do, some women aren’t ever appreciative. Next time? The flowers on the deck will die.

Hoarding

….is a sickness. I have a candidate for TLC. In this case, tough love was the answer.  When the princess is away, the witch will play….BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA….stupid packets!

ATM’s

I’m not the type of person that carries a ton of money around. No one is. I also hate using my credit card (I don’t know anyone that does either) But I don’t like ATM’s. Too tempting. I never had an ATM card until recently. Never needed one. My bank just got sold and EVERYONE was issued an ATM/DEBIT card.  On this little venture, it was a god send since I didn’t have my checkbook on me.  Since I was in the sticks, driving anywhere was taxing the gas tank (and my engine-I wasn’t expecting to be driving 35 minutes every other day to Middletown, NY-UP AND DOWN MOUNTAINS-my poor little ’94 Exploder was just about living up to its name). Also, I don’t care where you go to grocery shop FOOD IS EXPENSIVE! Thank you VISA. It’s everywhere you are!

Ford Exploder

You can fit A-LOT of garbage and recyclables as well as cardboard in the back of these trucks!

And if your truck all of a sudden starts running like shit, check your vacuum hoses. Amazing how well it will run when they’re in position.

 

I’m ready for next time, minus the piano player at the Medical Center.  I don’t care if I ever see that place again. But I will definitely make a stop at the Galleria Mall to say hi to my friends in Target!

 

Turkey Sandwich? Yes, Just eat it! Or starve.

Growing up, I never wanted kids.  I found them to be demanding and whinny.  I literally cried when I found out I was pregnant. But I pulled my big girl panties up and dealt with it. I was lucky to have a child who was easy going and laughed alot. Even though he blew out the speakers on my stereo, I managed to let him know that I wasn’t happy about it. Yes, I yelled at him, but he had to understand you don’t turn the little knob up to “10″, THEN turn the stereo on. He wasn’t a real fussy eater either. My second was, to put it nicely, a challenge. They say the second one is usually a total opposite of your first. They weren’t kidding.

Charlie tried my patience-constantly. He was a turd from the git go. I called him “Icas” after the character on the Nickelodeon cartoon “Real Monsters” because that’s what he was-a real monster.  I didn’t tolerate his temper tantrums or his fussy eating habits.  If he didn’t want it, then that was it. This wasn’t a restaurant. Eat or wait til the next meal.  Yes, I was mommy dearest when it came to him. We butted heads constantly.

I know alot of my friends probably didn’t agree with my parenting practices, then again, I didn’t always agree with theirs.  And we all have people we know that just don’t share the same philosophies on raising kids. And I’ve noticed that as the generations carry on, the more adamant they are becoming. I’m not going to get into the different ideas or practices that are out there, but moms have become quite opinionated on that THEIR way is the only way. And your way is wrong.

Yesterday was no different. I had my nieces and their kids over to swim as well as my sister-in-law, who’s a riot! My one niece is a Tasmanian Devil, she has too many irons in her fire and probably shouldn’t have had the third child. The 4 year old is in daycare, 6 year old is going into second grade (she’s an art teacher in South Jersey-she lives in North Jersey-can you imagine the commute?) or their grandmother (my sister-in-law) is taking care of them, all three including the 10 month old. My sister-in-law is in her late 60′s! SO…..when it came to lunch yesterday, the 6 year old “princess” didn’t want the turkey sandwich that her aunt (the other niece who was the this mother’s sister) bought. As her mother rattled off “do you want this? Or this? Or this?”her daughter was just answering “no” after everything. After numerous attempts and different combinations of this sandwich for which to entice her to eat it, I piped up with “You want pizza”?

Her facial expression changed as she just looked at me. “Does it have pepperoni on it?” I told her I was only kidding that I didn’t have pizza. It disappointed her tremendously. I was just so pissed off at both parties. I just wanted to see if she was actually listening or just being difficult. She was being both. I have no idea what was resolved because I just tuned myself out of the whole thing.  I wanted to tell this little brat “Eat what you want off of the effin’ sandwich or nothing”. And carried on. Let her cry and rant and pout. I know her mother was “WTF” with me.

As the course of the day went on, she settled down somewhat. I showed her how to make a hemp anklet and she picked out some charms for a cell phone leash/zipper pull. While I was doing 5 things at once, she would constantly seek me out and remind me of something I told her I would show her or do for her. She’s also one of the most accident prone kids. Athletic, but just clumsy. She hurt herself three times. None of the other 8 kids (except her little sister, she managed to hurt herself once) even whimpered.

The two of them (her and her little sister) were the most noisy and whinny.

I think alot of her issues are attention driven. Or lack of.

It didn’t help that it rained and the kids ended up in the house (thankfully my son who is very good with kids was able to entertain the two 4 year olds). I had NO problem with the other kids.

I really should just have kept my mouth shut and let the mother deal with it, but after awhile, like 3 minutes of negotiating, it got old. Something had to give. Lesson learned: I still don’t have patience for demanding kids. So shut up.

My niece is a good mom, but I think she’s exasperated. I don’t know how much help her husband is, or even how much he’s home. But I’m going to think twice before I have them over again. I’m beyond this time in my life. I have different issues to contend with.

 

Moving On

Ok, now that I’ve calmed down from last post, I can move on. Believe me that post was not only posted here but got as far as Facebook and comments were appearing in my friend’s Yahoo emails! Mixed opinions were expected. Luckily, no one threatened my life or my friend’s. I’m glad to have received the varied ideas and statements without scorn. There is hope for humanity to sit and discuss on mature levels afterall.

So what to blog about after such a post. Yeah, I got my hair cut, not sure I want to post a picture because I don’t photograph well. Unless I wear sunglasses. For some reason, I look better in sunglasses. Take my word, the hair cut looks nice.

I don’t know why I do it, but I stress over Thanksgiving. I don’t have a close family, so I’m not having the bothersome or meddling mother in law, the over active cousins, the hormonal teenager twirling her gum on her finger in disgust that she HAS to sit with all these people, the grandfather who has fallen asleep in the lounge chair while the proverbial football game is on, or the uncle that is telling all the little kids to pull his finger. I don’t have to worry about my house being spotless. No, I don’t have all that fun. It’s just the four of us – 2 sons and husband and myself. We’ll have the Macy’s Day Parade on, then clips from the local Pburg/Easton game on and see if the National Guard has to be called in, then the big game oft he day. It’ll be a day like any other, but I’m all in a tither. So I ask everyone “What do you want for Thanksgiving”. Needless to say it’s not going to be a very healthy one. Dip, chips, soda. Ok, that’s great for mid morning/afternoon. Dinner you wackaloons, I meant dinner! What do you want for dinner?

The only person who likes turkey in this house is my husband. So, no, no turkey. Ham. I can deal with that. Sweet potatoes with the marshmallows! Yes, gotta have the marshmallows! Cranberry sauce. I seem to be the only one that likes this and I usually end up eating the whole can. The jellied kind. Yeah, that’s the stuff! I like creamed spinach. It’s the only time I can get my kids to eat spinach. I will make some sort of dressing/stuffing in a casserole because we may not like turkey, but we do like the dressing. And gravy, for the mashed potatoes. I don’t eat those, hubby does as well as the 19yo. Traditional pumpkin pie. With Reddi Whip. Coffee. Tea. It’ll do. Actually, looking over that selection, it’s got alot of carbs in it. I’ll have to have more veggies. That’ll go over well. We’ll all leave the table, or shall I say, roll away from the table, happy campers. And we’ll all say, “I’ll never eat again.”

It’s a simple menu. Why stress? I don’t know. Maybe because I want everything to turn out perfect. I’m not a chef, my cooking is so so. Most of it is from scratch. Maybe I really don’t want to do it. We could just go out to eat. My friend is going out for Thanksgiving with her family. Can’t be too bad an idea. Let someone else do the cooking and clean up. But you miss all the leftovers for the next week. It’s amazing how many dishes you can make with leftover ham. By the time Christmas comes, we’re pretty hammed out. Pulled Pork Pizza for Christmas. That’s the beauty of just having the four of us. We can pretty much do what we want without upsetting Auntie Gazella that the Christmas dinner was dry. Grandpa wouldn’t care, he’s still sleeping in the lounge chair.