Wired

I’ve had my share of caffeine today, probably more than I needed. Cup of tea in the afternoon. Cup of Vanilla coffee after dinner. I’m hyper to begin with. Caffeine just makes it worse. We went to Home Depot to get tile for the bathroom. That only took 1/2 in there. That’s a record!

So it’s 1:00am in the morning and my body and brain show no signs of fatigue.

I’m hungry as hell though because Guy Fieri is eating the most delectable sandwiches and diner food. Why can’t my area have descent diners? There are a multitude of them but none of them are ever going to make it into the FoodNetwork list of places to eat in northeast Pennsylvania. Not many “outside” people like Miracle Whip and liverwurst.

One more good reason to move back to New Jersey–Diner capital of the country!

Got disgusted with watching “Extreme Homes” on HGTV. Waaaay too much money out there with waaaay too many people not knowing how to spend it. Is it really necessary to make your home look like a shark?

Not a hell of a lot happens on Facebook when you’ve only got 21 friends (that’s my choice).

Wrote two blog post drafts but will probably delete them.  Even I can’t stand my own ranting sometimes.

Twitter had some priceless tweets tonight. Someone was tweeting from a strip club and was giving blow by blow (no pun intended) reviews of the strippers. Kind of grossed me out. Especially the ones about the where some of those dollar bills went.

I’m still trying to figure out how a glazed donut can have 0 grams of cholesterol.

Thypolar and Hacking Vegas make #coupleoftheyear.

5 Things About Me You Could Careless About:

1. I wish I had blue eyes.

2. I’m a Brit stuck in an American’s body. That needs to lose some weight.

3. I hate jogging.

4. I know how to sail a boat.

5. I don’t own a single Justin Bieber CD. Nope. None.

“Rachel” from “Card Holder Services” must die.

My hands are so dry. This past winter has been murder on them. No amount of moisturizer helps.

It’s already Saturday morning here on the east coast. My friends over on the west coast are living in the past. I can tell you the future isn’t that exciting at the moment.

It’s 6:30am in England. They’re just getting up to start their day. Most of the US is still up and running and haven’t gone to bed yet.

I’m still hungry.

I’m waiting for the infomercials to kick in.

OMG, another episode of “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives”.

Cable stations that show the same movies as they did LAST weekend are lame. USA Network is showing “National Treasure” AGAIN. It was on all last weekend, all weekend. Along with Indian Jones.

I’m not sure I like Guy Fieri’s spiky ass hair. Oh wait, this is a repeat of the episode at 8:00.

I wish the cat knew how to shut the door behind him. Now I have to get up and close it.

TV sucks this time of night/morning. Turned it off. Silence is golden…except the cat is snoring. Do cats get sleep apnea?

The windows in the room are leaky. I can feel the cold air coming in. Why won’t the heat kick on? At least the cat is keeping my one foot warm.

For once I don’t have a song stuck in my head. For the longest time I had “Party Anthem”. I really want need to buy that Kelly Clarkson’s song off iTunes. I have no idea what the name of it is, but I’ll know it when I see it. I also want to buy Rhianna’s song “Love In A Hopeless” place. And one from Adele that I know I’ll know when I see it. I have a lousy memory.

I really miss Star Gate SG1. Michael Shanks is hot! A whole lotta sweetness going on with that guy! Richard Dean Anderson isn’t anything to sneer at either!

Umm, ooh, yeah....wow. Mmmmmm....(image via Listal.com)

I haven’t mentioned Jeremy Clarkson. That doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about him. Probably because I’m ALWAYS thinking about him.

Jezza. By request from Joseph.

I have to remember Jr. has appointments on Monday. I know I’m going to wake up Monday and remember the last minute. At least the first one is in town.

Ok, I’m going to end this nonsense and try to rest. The heat finally kicked on. I closed the door again.

And I’m still hungry.

The Inevitable Pet Post

I try not to blog too much about my cat. As much as I love cats I’m not that crazy cat lady that spends most of the day tending to her feline’s every need. On the contrary, I sometimes wish the little bugger would leave me alone. If I’m sitting here at the computer, he will come in the room, stand in the doorway and give me the most annoying “meow” as if to say “WOMAN, GET UP AND FEED ME FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE! IT’S PAST 9AM!”

I fed him when I got up at 7am.  I think he eats because he’s bored.

Then he comes back in and wants attention. Pet, pet, pet, rub, rub, scratch, scratch, “Yes, your mommy loves you.” in my sappy voice, pick him up, put him on my lap, pet him some more then I say “Happy now?” I ask. He just looks at me with big green eyes as if to say “NO, I WANT MORE YOU MORON!”.

That’s when I find him some “self entertaining” items. I’m not the entertainment director in this house as I’ve told my kids. I’m now telling my cat the same thing. I need to get out more.

I search the sewing box. Ah, an empty, plastic thread spool….that’s loud as hell when you drop it on the floor and it bounces. The cat just stares at it then look back up at me like “You’re kidding me, right?”

So I find some Velcro. Just the one strip about 6 inches long. I dangle that in front of him and he follows it with attentiveness. Then he swats at it. And tries to catch it with his razor sharp claws. He catches it and starts chewing on it. I let it go and he seems appeased.

For about a minute.

He stops and looks up at me again as to say “Well, aren’t you going to play with me anymore?”. I swear it’s like having a 4  year old. Yo cat, I’ve been there done that.  So I repeat the process only one more time. He bores easily.  And he eventually walks away. Probably to do damage to something to get back at me for not keeping him entertained.

Sometimes I’ll catch him playing with the throw rug in the bathroom which is right across the hall. Diving under it, gathering it up in his front paws as he frantically kicks it with his back legs.  Then jumps up abruptly and runs away. I have no idea what that is all about!

If my son and I are eating lunch, he will jump on the table and make his presence known. The only way to stop this is to turn the overhead ceiling fan on. He is scared to death of this and it works every time. Jumps of the table, ears down, eyes wide open, looking up at it like it’s going to come down and swallow him at any second and slinks away into the kitchen and sits, staring at us like “You don’t love me”.

The next thing you see is he’s chasing his tail. And he’ll do this for about 10 minutes. Just chasing his tail, catching it, biting it, letting it go, catching it again, rolling around on the floor to get it…it’s all very amusing.

Throw him a twistie from the storage bags, you know those coated wire closures for baggies? He’ll bat that round for a good five minutes….until he bats it under the oven. After about 10 seconds of trying to retrieve it, he will then either walk away or look at me again with those steely green eyes as if to command “Well, get me another one bitch!”. So I throw him another one. And then another one. Before you know it, they’re all over the house. And when I move things to clean, there are about 4 of them, especially under the oven, which is just gross. I can’t imagine how many are under the refrigerator!

We have NO store bought cat toys in this house. I’ve spent a small fortune on them (this cat is the reason I have him, went in to get cat toys for my other three I had and I walked out with him instead) and none of my cats are or were interested in them. I threw them all out because they were just laying around the floor collecting dust balls. So I make my own. I’ve mentioned the twisties. Tin foil is great balled up. I’ve taken a dowel, screwed an eye hook on the end, attached a piece of string about 18 inches long with a craft store feather hot glued onto the end. That’s been the biggest hit. I’ve used up remnant carpeting and attached it to some old crates I’ve found after cutting out some holes, sort of like a make shift cat condo (when the cats were done with them, they made great setting boxes for the chickens!).  There’s the old stand by of just a piece of string. Take some old material, make a pouch and stuff it with catnip.

The Tigmeister has gone off to sleep off his breakfast of salmon (canned of course-he won’t eat human food). He’ll be back in about three hours and will proceed with the routine all over again.

Wordless Wednesday? Ok, maybe a couple words.

Image Via LOL Cats I Can Has Cheeseburger

Isn’t this the best idea? Someone took their old MacIntosh computer monitor, ripped all the guts out of it and made a cat bed! What a freakin’ awesome concept! It’s recycling at it’s best! And stylish! Kudos to Greencliff!

Life Lessons

Cats aren't that bright

Everyone says “You learn something new everyday” and you usually do. Yesterday I learned something new but I don’t for the life of me remember what it was.

But here are a couple of things I do remember learning. Some just stay with you longer than others.

1) Your past will come back and haunt you. Facebook is proof of this.

2) Don’t go to a college that’s more than two hours away from home, leaving a boyfriend behind. Damn those cute British guys. They get me every time! Needless to say, the boyfriend and I ended on a sour note.

3) If attending said college that is two hours away, go for a purpose. Have a major. Liberal Arts is not a major. Attending the 13th grade that far from home is a waste of money and causes drunkenness and irrational activities on campus.

4) The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the state border.

5) Make sure your foot is bigger than your mouth. This way you won’t be able to insert it when you screw up talking to your friend about another friend who’s standing right behind you.

6) Measure before you buy. Not all cars are Transformers. Just because your car can haul 7 passengers doesn’t mean it can turn into a 26′ foot U-Haul truck.

7) Commercials are misleading. When you see a commercial for a Ford F150 hauling a nuclear missile silo going over Mt. Everest on a rocky road, believe me, it’s all done on a set. Pick up trucks aren’t that stable (or that powerful).

8 ) Blow dry your hair BEFORE putting on your earrings. Unless you deliberately wanted that permanent butterfly burn mark on your neck. You could always just tell people it’s a new fad in tattooing.

9) Don’t own more cars than the number of drivers in your household. People will mistaken you for a used car lot (or worse, a service station).

10) Tomato soup and beer don’t mix.

11) Extension cords and eyes don’t mix either.

12) Raking leaves in the wind is totally useless. Unless you need the exercise. And like redundancy.

13) One way to find out how much stuff you own is to buy a house smaller than the one you just sold.

14) If something really smells bad, don’t say to me “EWW smell this!”. I’ll take your word for it. I know misery loves company, but not in this case.

15) In-ground swimming pools make great toad and frog breeding ponds.

16) I wanted to be famous, I should have had a ton of kids, called TLC, berated my husband on national tv, got divorced and then the nation would have loved me.

17) Be. Sure. To. Drink. Your. Ovaltine. I don’t know, I just felt like saying that.

18) If you want the bathroom redone, you have to do start doing it yourself. This is a hint for your husband. Once he sees what you’re TRYING to do, he’ll IMMEDIATELY step in and take over.

19) Snow Throwers are just that, for THROWING SNOW. Now where does it say on the labels that it’s a SLUSH THROWER!

20) It doesn’t make a difference if you vote or not for President. The Electoral College is the one that makes the final decision. I was very disappointed with that reality.

21) Jello sets up faster in the freezer. Makes for great slushie jello.

22) Cats just don’t care.

23) No matter what you’re watching on television, you’re always in for at least 5 minutes of commercials.

24) Universal remote controls are impossible to learn.

25) I don’t know anyone who owns a Snuggie (but I have a feeling I’m about to). Or a Slap Chop.

26) Mamby Pamby Land has me intrigued.

I thought only dogs chased their tails!

I have no idea what entices my cat to do this. All of a sudden he just starts trying to catch his tail.
Only in the winter does he do this!