Letter to Santa Not Working? Try a Letter to the Universe

My son introduced me to a really cool app for my iPod.  You can get radio stations from around the world!! Isn’t that neat? Now being the wanna be Brit that I am I naturally went straight to the BBC in London. I found BBC Radio 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. There are other BBC stations in different parts of England, but I was interested in BBC Radio 1 and 2. Mostly what they call “Adult Contemporary”.

ANYWAY…..I was listening to BBC Radio 1 this morning (it was lunch time in their parts) and the DJ talked about someone who wrote a letter to the universe.  Not to EVERYONE in the universe, thee UNIVERSE! You know, planets, stars, moons, galaxies. And several people called in saying they had done this and their wish had come true. Write a letter stating what you would like and store it away in your drawer. Some put their letters in their freezer. I guess wishes keep longer.

Has anyone ever heard of this?

I thought how bizarre. Wouldn’t it be like wishing upon a star? Except you get better results when the request is in writing.  Anything bearing a signature usually is more legit.

Since I have nothing else better to do I decided to try my luck with this. To hell with writing Santa, let’s try this instead:

Dear Cosmos (this is the correct salutation from what I heard from one listener),

How are you?

How’s the weather up there? Is it still really cold? Oxygen at a premium still?

I was wondering, while your granting wishes for earthlings, you wouldn’t mind dropping about 2 mil on my back patio, would you?

If that’s really too extreme, how about a plane ticket to the UK?

Lunch with Jeremy Clarkson? He might actually enjoy some humorous conversation these days amongst the recent slamming tabloid remarks that are being made towards him.

No can do?

Mercedes Benz SLK 280? Sweet little two seater with an attitude!

A reputable mechanic to put my Corvette back together since the yahoo who owned it before us ripped it apart because the heat was too unbearable in Oklahoma so he tried to insulate it?

If any of the above seems too radical, then maybe you could fulfill the following:

A new bathroom? Ok, more like a new shower insert, I can handle the rest.

Ship me BACK to New Jersey?

A new dinning room table or sofa?

If this all seems a little narcissistic, I’ll be more in the Christmas spirit.

How about taking about 200 lbs off the letter carrier that brings me my mail? Or at least tell him Slim Jims and Diet Snapple are not the Weight Watchers diet.

Make the guy next door about 8 inches taller so he doesn’t feel he has to prove himself  or to us that he’s fucking awesome all the time and that my husband isn’t.

Giving my township some proper tarmac so they can repave the main drag with the correct materials as so we’re not all driving on what seems like the moon surface (you know what THAT’S like, right?).

Plop a couple thousand dollars on the door step of the ambulance squad. This way it’ll free up the volunteers so they won’t have to call me for a donation. It will also save a couple hundred trees. Though, the post office might suffer alittle.

Give all telemarketers new jobs. The “Do Not Call” list is failing….epically!

Give cyclists their own road or path to ride on. I really hate seeing grown men in Spandex with their skinny little asses in air.

Bring world peace. That might be a dubious task.

Do what you can. I’ll appreciate any effort you provide.

Have a good one!

Reener Beener.

This is then suppose to be tucked away in a drawer (or a freezer).  And I guess we wait. One listener said she always wanted a dog. She wrote a letter to the universe and within a couple days or weeks she got a dog.

I guess asking for a Mercedes Benz is stretching it alittle? I mean it’s like a dog, I still have to “feed” it, and it has to be taken for “walks”. And I’ll have NO problem playing with it! It will even have it’s own place to sleep!

Let me know if you ever heard of this writing to the universe.

Added: Anyone interested in my son’s blog “Pretty Fly For A Blind Guy”   just to let you know he updated some of his pages like “Cars and Sweet Trucks”, new t shirt and added two more videos that he likes to his list.