The Inevitable Pet Post

I try not to blog too much about my cat. As much as I love cats I’m not that crazy cat lady that spends most of the day tending to her feline’s every need. On the contrary, I sometimes wish the little bugger would leave me alone. If I’m sitting here at the computer, he will come in the room, stand in the doorway and give me the most annoying “meow” as if to say “WOMAN, GET UP AND FEED ME FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE! IT’S PAST 9AM!”

I fed him when I got up at 7am.  I think he eats because he’s bored.

Then he comes back in and wants attention. Pet, pet, pet, rub, rub, scratch, scratch, “Yes, your mommy loves you.” in my sappy voice, pick him up, put him on my lap, pet him some more then I say “Happy now?” I ask. He just looks at me with big green eyes as if to say “NO, I WANT MORE YOU MORON!”.

That’s when I find him some “self entertaining” items. I’m not the entertainment director in this house as I’ve told my kids. I’m now telling my cat the same thing. I need to get out more.

I search the sewing box. Ah, an empty, plastic thread spool….that’s loud as hell when you drop it on the floor and it bounces. The cat just stares at it then look back up at me like “You’re kidding me, right?”

So I find some Velcro. Just the one strip about 6 inches long. I dangle that in front of him and he follows it with attentiveness. Then he swats at it. And tries to catch it with his razor sharp claws. He catches it and starts chewing on it. I let it go and he seems appeased.

For about a minute.

He stops and looks up at me again as to say “Well, aren’t you going to play with me anymore?”. I swear it’s like having a 4  year old. Yo cat, I’ve been there done that.  So I repeat the process only one more time. He bores easily.  And he eventually walks away. Probably to do damage to something to get back at me for not keeping him entertained.

Sometimes I’ll catch him playing with the throw rug in the bathroom which is right across the hall. Diving under it, gathering it up in his front paws as he frantically kicks it with his back legs.  Then jumps up abruptly and runs away. I have no idea what that is all about!

If my son and I are eating lunch, he will jump on the table and make his presence known. The only way to stop this is to turn the overhead ceiling fan on. He is scared to death of this and it works every time. Jumps of the table, ears down, eyes wide open, looking up at it like it’s going to come down and swallow him at any second and slinks away into the kitchen and sits, staring at us like “You don’t love me”.

The next thing you see is he’s chasing his tail. And he’ll do this for about 10 minutes. Just chasing his tail, catching it, biting it, letting it go, catching it again, rolling around on the floor to get it…it’s all very amusing.

Throw him a twistie from the storage bags, you know those coated wire closures for baggies? He’ll bat that round for a good five minutes….until he bats it under the oven. After about 10 seconds of trying to retrieve it, he will then either walk away or look at me again with those steely green eyes as if to command “Well, get me another one bitch!”. So I throw him another one. And then another one. Before you know it, they’re all over the house. And when I move things to clean, there are about 4 of them, especially under the oven, which is just gross. I can’t imagine how many are under the refrigerator!

We have NO store bought cat toys in this house. I’ve spent a small fortune on them (this cat is the reason I have him, went in to get cat toys for my other three I had and I walked out with him instead) and none of my cats are or were interested in them. I threw them all out because they were just laying around the floor collecting dust balls. So I make my own. I’ve mentioned the twisties. Tin foil is great balled up. I’ve taken a dowel, screwed an eye hook on the end, attached a piece of string about 18 inches long with a craft store feather hot glued onto the end. That’s been the biggest hit. I’ve used up remnant carpeting and attached it to some old crates I’ve found after cutting out some holes, sort of like a make shift cat condo (when the cats were done with them, they made great setting boxes for the chickens!).  There’s the old stand by of just a piece of string. Take some old material, make a pouch and stuff it with catnip.

The Tigmeister has gone off to sleep off his breakfast of salmon (canned of course-he won’t eat human food). He’ll be back in about three hours and will proceed with the routine all over again.

Wash With Care

This is the one thing they didn’t teach me in Home Economics in school:

Back in 1973, there wasn’t any need for this. But since the world has gone bi-lingual, we’ve gone the universal symbol route. Much like the universal symbol for telling someone they’re number one……never mind.

Being it was a sweater, I knew it had to be hand washed or washed on the delicate cycle in cold water. And it’s 100% cotton. No brainer there.  But let’s break this down symbol by symbol.

Wash at 30 degrees Celsius delicate cycle (my British friends know this-don’t ask me to translate into Fahrenheit). Of course this image is from Wiki, mine is wash at 40 degrees Celsius delicate cycle. Oh, remind me to TEST THE TEMPERATURE OF MY WATER NEXT TIME……*rolling eyes*.

Any ideas? Don’t make a triangle out of your garment? Don’t have a three way? No triangles allowed? Little triangle men at work?

Nope.  It means “Do Not Bleach

I would have never guessed.

Oh, this is obsolete now according to Wiki. I have a sweater with outdated laundry symbols. I’m suing.

Nicht trommeltrocknen

This is what WikiMedia Commons uses. German.So I translated it: Not Dry Drum.

Or in real words, do not put in your dryer.

Es sieht nicht so etwas wie mein Trockner.

(It doesn’t look anything like my dryer.)

This is pretty obvious, it was the dots that threw me. Those dots indicate what temperature you should have your iron at. The more dots, the hotter the iron. This is just warm. Two dots is a “warm” or “medium” iron.  One dot is cool or “low”, three dots is hot or “high”. Now you know.

This could mean to make sure you pee into the toilet, not on your garment.

But it’s not.

This I believe this is a symbol aimed more for dry cleaners. “Use any solvent other than trichloroethylene”, whatever that is. Obviously it is something that can be lethal. All the more reason NOT to have it dry cleaned.

Some other symbols:

One could mistaken this for making sure your left hand is clean. Or to measure how much sand you have in your sand bucket.

Silly you. No, it means it’s hand washable.

If I saw this for the first time, I wouldn’t have a clue as to what it meant. It’s a triangle.  That’s it. Just a triangle. Now based on the previous triangle symbol I listed, it makes sense. It means you can use bleach if you would like.  But bleach and oxygen.

But not to be confused with this:

“Bleaching with oxygen allowed”. Yes, you’re allowed to breathe while bleaching your clothes.

A triangle with an “X” through it means “DO NOT USE BLEACH” which is the more current symbol used now.

No, this isn’t the top view of a toaster. It’s “Drip Dry”.

I’m surprised this wasn’t  listed with the symbols on my sweater. This is “dry flat”. Reminds me of a file drawer.

If I saw this on a garment, I would think it would be safe for mailing. Doesn’t it look like a large mailing envelope? It’s “line dry”. OOOOOH, I see it now……

There are others that I think are more geared towards the dry cleaning solutions, but this one was unique:

My first thought was “do not wash during an eclipse”. Or it’s a birds eye view of my dining room table which is to remind me that anything spilled at this place will probably stain. But it’s neither. It’s “Professional wet cleaning is not allowed”. Only unprofessional wet cleaning is allowed.  Doesn’t the military have a symbol like this? Like watch for grenades or something?

So, speaking of wet cleaning, here’s the symbol for it. You’ve been enlightened. If there’s a line under it, that means “gentle wet cleaning”, two lines means “very gentle wet cleaning”.

Ok, ok, so you want to know what “wet cleaning is” (I did, too). Basically, it’s just washing in a washing machine on the gentle cycle using biodegradable detergents and conditioners using various types of pressing and re-shaping equipment for specific fabric types.

If you see this:Either you have to dry clean it or it’ll be dirty for as long as you own that garment. It means “do not wash”.

So there you have it. No reason to shrink, bleach out, or ruin your laundry anymore. There will be a test in the morning.

Just want to let you people that are on Facebook know, I have a new page called “Northampton County Facebook Rummage Sale”. Feel free to join it and post anything you wish to sell. I’m sure people would be willing to mail items out if you’re not local.

Happy Anniversary!

I drafted this post earlier this year and could have sworn I published it. I guess I didn’t. Or at least not on this blog. This is about the corporate anniversary gift that is awarded for years of dubious and unselfish dedication.

My husband has hit a milestone at work. For reasons unbeknownst to us, he has managed to survive 4 corporate ownerships and dodge umpteen layoffs of his company…… for 30 years!

He claims it’s a hollow accomplishment. None of his friends with whom he originally started with work there anymore and it’s more of just a job rather than a significant achievement with a company that he doesn’t enjoy working for.

Aside from the dismal attitude he has all the time for this place, he was presented with a small meeting of his colleagues thanking him for his 30 years of service and a booklet of potential service gifts.

It’s quite a booklet. All glossy pages and even personally inscribed with his name. Some of the gifts featured are portable dvd players, flatware sets, jewelry, watches, solar garden lights, treadmill, stationary bike, dart board set, telescope, Garmin GPS, bikes, and lots of other goodies we don’t need. Here is some other items my husband thought paid tribute to his many years of excellent dedication.

Artline “Onyx” globe-a symbolic way of reminding you how many countries have received outsourced work from them.

Fire Sense “Fox Hill” electric fireplace-to remind him of his burning desire to get out.

Scanpan classic knife set-for all those times he was back-stabbed.

Legal Seafood Lobster pot-how could we forget all the times co workers continually fucked with thermostats forcing one to wear short sleeved shirts in the dead of winter.

As we laid there in bed and thumbed through this booklet of sundrys we couldn’t help but wonder what the 40 year anniversary booklet would contain. We had some ideas:

Miracle Ear Hearing aids-in assorted colors.

A case of Depends-after all there is a lot of sitting at this job and getting “there” isn’t as fast as it used to be.

Jazzy Scooter-double knee replacements can be a bitch especially if using the stairs. Also in assorted colors. Pinstriping would be extra.

Bedside potties/bed pans- all these gifts are mailed directly to you so no one will ever know.

Walkers and canes-lightweight and durable. Comes in animal prints, or brushed stainless steel in a choice of colors with rubber tips. iPod carrying case included with walker.

Which then made me wonder if there’s a 60 year anniversary packet. Could contain:

Choices for headstones-marble or granite. Three lines available for inscription in your choice of font; Comic Sans, Times New Roman, Gothic, or Ariel.

Cremation Urns-brass or brushed aluminum. Various styles to choose from.

Coffins (I know, it’s getting morbid)-walnut, cherry, or oak finishes available. Interior linings quilted in crushed velvet made to perfection by Amish craftsmen.

We still haven’t decided what to choose. I told my husband it’s his choice. He’s thinking maybe the Makita drill set. I was hoping for the luggage set or camcorder. He has a year to decide. Maybe if he waits long enough we just may find out what’s in the 40 year anniversary booklet.

To date: We did end up getting a SONY stereo system that is iPod compatible with a multi CD changer. It resides in my son’s bedroom. *sigh*.

Things I Won’t Do Before I Die

If you ever need a good laugh, read this blog post: 25 Things I Don’t Wanna Do Before I Croak

That got me thinking as well, so with all do respect to Barb, here’s my take:

• Get Breast Cancer. I’m very fond of my puppies. They’re all I have going for me.
• Be on trial
• Own a stationwagon. Ewwwwwww
• Skydive. I have no desire to jump OUT of a plane. I mean I’ve never even been IN one.
• Remarry
• Remove a bullet from someone
• Get stranded in a snow storm
• Fly to Iceland
• Live in this state. No, you don’t have a friend in Pennsylvania.
• Meet my husband’s boss. Bi-Polar douche that he is.
• Get lice
• Get herpes
• Jog
• Run a marathon (same as jog I guess)
• Meet Julia Roberts
• Watch episodes of any mother and their multitude of kids
• Find out if Angelina Jolie has adopted another child
• Learn about another Hollywood divorce
• Have my picture taken BEFORE I apply my makeup. Or have my hair colored.
• Eat brussel sprouts
• See anymore Hillshire Farm commercials
• Wear Depends
• Hear that the US is being blamed for some natural disaster
• Learn Chinese
• Buy a “Clap On Clap Off” product
• Watch a water polo match
• Hear my neighbor’s drunken sex desires (amazing what alcohol makes you say)
• Watch anymore Sara McLachlan sad animals stories on tv
• Kiss a goat
• Dress up as Lady Gaga for Halloween
• Receive a Justin Bieber CD
• Have a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese
• Eat  Taco Bell
• Get as many wrinkles as Keith Richards
• Learn to play the mouth harp
• Have a threesome with Rosie O’Donnell
• Live without Jeremy Clarkson
• Drive a Smart Car
• Paint my garage
• Wear toe socks
• Own a pair of Crocs
• Pierce my nipple
• Listen to Al Sharpton preach
• Fall
• Wear orthopedic shoes
• Know what craft Martha Stewart has come out with.
• Learn the newest technique in cracking an egg.
• Solve a NY Times crossword puzzle
• Figure out the quickest way to get to east Philadelphia
• Ride a bike across Africa
• Pursue a science degree
• Eat ants
• Watch Andrew Zimmerman eat ants
• Become a hoarder
• Hack into a government computer
• Owe Vin Diesel a 10 second car
• Become obsessed with collecting coupons
• Accidentally burn my house down.
• Do aerobics to “Sweatin’ To The Oldies”.
• Ride a bicycle around my area in spandex
• Work for Donald Trump

I would love to read what you wouldn’t want to do before you kick the bucket!

Junkin’ It

The mountains are nice at least.

When you think “family outing” you automatically think of a picnic, , bowling, hiking, day at the beach or visiting a landmark with your next of kin in tow.

We go to auto salvage yards.

I was going to post about our day in the salavage yard. But it turned out to be a novel to beat War and Peace. And boring. Especially if you’re not a petrolhead.

I’ve done a post on this before here.  In short, this past weekend we traveled to a much larger place and cannibalized a Taurus SHO, a 2002 Chrysler Sebring and a early 90′s Ford Ranger. And saved a man’s life, well sort of. He wasn’t about to make the walk with his equipment up the hill to the check out booth in his condition, so we offered to get one of the yardmen to go down and get him in the bus shuttle. And they did. And the ambulance took him away. And my little Ford Exploder almost did just that going up and down these hills on the way there.

The one thing you will always be when you go to one of these places is dirty. Not one person, not even the pretty Latino lady with her scarf, pointy ass highheels, tight jeans and big hoop earrings (WTH?), is going to leave without getting at least dust in the hair. Or greasy hands. It’s just a very dirty place.

The Sebring I got my visor clips from.

But for car geeks, it’s a lot of fun!

I do belive that was a Ford Pinto at one time. That's a Jeep CJ7 on top I think.

If you own older cars (like we do), more than likely it’s going to be missing some parts. Or you will have to replace something that is no longer made. And finding a part or piece can be challenging on the internet and very expensive after paying shipping. So go to the junk yard. Granted you have to take the part off yourself but it’s worth it.  And less expensive. And you do meet some “interesting” people (psst, some don’t have teeth if ya know what I mean…like maybe they’re from “The Hills Have Eyes” or something…..).

 

 

 

Home Improvement Warehouses-The Place You Love To Hate, But Thank God They’re There.

I’m a DIY’er. Because it’s so hard to find good help these days. So screw it, I’ll do it myself. I’m pretty savvy with hammer. Awesome with screwdriver, cordless or not. I can even use a circular saw like no one’s business. Eat your heart out Norm Abrams. I love Mike Holmes though of “Holmes on Homes”. Yeah, I could easily be married to him.

I’m one of those people that likes to find inanimate objects and make something out of them (I’ve watched WAY too much HGTV, This Old House and Lynette Jennings). I’m good for taking an empty paper towel roll and make a chandelier out of it.

I can spend hours on an uncrowded day at that place where Homer let’s employees teach tiling, installing a toilet or faux painting that dining room wall you’ve been so yearning to do yourself because you saw it done on HGTV. You know that place, with the orange aprons?

Or the competitor. With the blue aprons. That’s a bit cleaner, touts that they’re “better” by “Improving Home Improvment”? You know that one.

I swear it was just my husband, a couple and their baby, and I in the orange apron store today. Which is fantastic!  An occasional stray, older gent would end up in the same isle as us. As I perused the kitchen knob/hinges/handles showcase, I knew he was listening to what my husband and I were babbling about which is usually nothing. So I decided to entertain him.

“Oh, should I go with black or silver? Oh, those are dated, I’m surprised they still sell them, who would want those on their cabinets, we’re trying to update, not go backwards, hmm, those are pretty but they won’t fit. Why are all the pretty ones special order? They would sell more of those if they had them in stock. Oh look honey, wood….I like woooOOoooOOd. Did you know that I like wood….? (hubby is now pacing, waiting, getting alittle impatient not even listening), Oh, these are nice, they will go great, they look like seashells, they’re perfect.”

And I collect what I need, throw them in the basket and we’re off. I’m sure I irritated that man to the hilt. He eventually had walked away.

You realize that we only came for 4 things: A baseboard heater, spray paint, knobs and hinges for a corner cupboard I’m redoing. We walked out with those plus paint thinner, spray paint for some plastic chairs, some wire and a mini fridge. We had talked about getting one for my son for his room. We saw this lone fridge……the display model…..on the shelf. They were completely out of stock probably from all the parents buying them for their kid’s dorm rooms. This one had some scratches on the door and some scratches on the sides. I wondered if we could get a discount on it.

This is where an uncrowded store is a draw back. Of course, as with ANY big place like that finding an employee is like looking for that elusive earring you were just wearing (it was here a minute ago!) or playing that game “Marco Polo”. You  hear a voice, follow it but by the time you get there the person is gone. But now they’re over in carpeting….so you run over there….and they’re gone. I walked up and down the neighboring isles for 5 minutes looking for ANYONE wearing an orange apron. If I saw someone even wearing orange, I was tackling them. Finally, as I was about to give up, two employees walked right past where we were standing with this fridge. I grabbed them! No, not literally. I asked the one employee, a young man, could he take some bucks off this fridge because of the damage. He said , “Yeah, sure”.

WOOOOHOOOO……he promptly took out a yellow mark down card or something, wrote a bunch of numbers on it and told me to give it to the cashier and that was his number if she needed to contact him as he pointed to three digits on the bottom of the card. I thanked him and his co worker and hubby put our new/damaged fridge in the basket. The heater had to be carried now. But who cares. Sacrifices baby.

One thing, though, that I HATE about these places is that you REEEEALLLLY have to be careful when picking out of those bins. And I’ve been burned by this a couple times and you’d think I’d learn. But no. The hinges I picked out were two different types. They look very similar but one is ever so different. This is my Murphy’s Law. The very last thing I have to do on a project after it’s been going so easy is that something is going to go wrong with the last part.

So off I have to return it and get the right one (did it already).

But heater is in. The cupboard is painted and dried before the rains come again.

And the fridge is working great!