I’ve been talking with a friend about books and we got on the subject of romance novels.
I’m not one for reading to begin with. So I have no interest in them. But they are one of the most popular types of books that are being bought these days, especially in the ebooks department.
I went on vacation one year with a family we were really good friends with (well, I THOUGHT we were – long story). Our kids got along well, were in the same classes, played sports together, slept over….the whole bit. My friend, their mother, was smart, very studious, sort of a geeky nerd, college grad in German (?), President of the PTA, kind of a take control kind of person, involved in other town activities, great public speaker, and a little straight laced. She did let her hair down occasionally. Her husband was a physical education teacher at a local high school, coach for rec. football, baseball, basketball, tee ball, etc.
But my husband and I NEVER saw them ever show any public affection for eachother. Not even holding hands.
So here we were on vacation in the Outer Banks, North Carolina. Ya know what she did for two weeks? Read ALL the romance novels that were in the rental house. There were about 7 of them. In the house or on the beach, she had her nose in one of these books. She loved them! You know the ones. On the cover there’s a woman with voluptuous breasts pouring out of the semi unbuttoned nightgown with a Fabio looking male with 6 pack abs nibbling on her neck seducing her. You can almost hear the moaning. Or the woman is wearing a gown with a tight fitting corset, again with the breasts pushed up, head thrown back in ecstasy and the 6 pack abs male is in a ripped tshirt and bulging muscles is standing behind her running his hand down the one side of her body.
My husband and I could only guess what went on in the upstairs bedroom while we were downstairs with the kids.
I’ve read excerpts from these books and wow, TMI in some cases. What I think is funny is that it’s cool or acceptable to read this stuff, but once you view porn, and I’m not talking the real hard core stuff, you’re considered a skank.
“Oh, I read that romance novel, it was steamy! But you’ll never catch me watching porn on the computer!!”.
What are your views? Do you read these romance novels? Why? What’s the attraction? What do or don’t you like about them? What kind of character attracts you? It’s ok, I’m not going to judge. It’s all in the name of research. If you do like them, kudos to you! We all have interests in different reading material. It’s like soap operas, I don’t watch them, but there are women who schedule their day around them! And that’s fine!
My friend had this question to ask all of you:
“when’s the last time a man said to them(you women), “come on, I want to take you shopping for a nice dress and shoes, and stick you in the spa for an afternoon. Then I’m going to take you for a candlelight dinner, some dancing and….whatever trouble we can think of…” and it wasn’t a birthday or special event?”
And vampires? What’s the forbidden lust for vampires???
Let me know your views.
I admit to having read Romance novels. Like closet eating of peeps.
I read quickly and have devoured more than a few. I couldn’t read one now but I remember my mother in her eighties said after reading Nora Roberts, Born in Fire, Born in Ice and Born in Shame trilogy ,”Actually, the sex is quite nice. but after awhile it is like eating just frosting. You want something more substantial.” and my mother was intelligent with a Master’s in English and loved Chaucer. Some people read murder mysteries, spy novels, literature for teens….it is an escape from the real world in many cases.
Thank you!
I like peeps too! Shhh, don’t tell anyone,………..oh wait, I did a post about them…….oh well.
OOOOhhhhh, such a fun topic!!
I, for one, don’t read the romance novels. I have tried and I think I actually liked them at some point. But somewhere during my college education I started seeing them as degrading to women. Women in the books seem to always be portrayed as being dominated. Guys just grabbing them, kissing them without permission. Shoot, now when I think about it, that sounds pretty badass. I might have to pick me up one and see what it does for me.
As far as porn goes, I can rarely watch it without getting all caught up in the psychology of the “actors”. Wondering what got them into porn, are they happy, do they feel valuable? But that doesn’t mean I don’t ever watch it. That can be fun. Even empowering. But in a book, the people aren’t real. I’m not worried about that woman in the romance novel’s family or upbringing. LOL. She’s not real.
Vampires can be hot. I’ve never gotten into them but that movie with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, Interview with a Vampire, in it’s time was very sexy. Because it’s not real – the roughness about it, the intoxicating effect vampires have, is erotic.
Well, you certainly got me talking!! I could go on but I don’t want to reveal too much!! LOL!
Awesome questions!!
LOL! It’s an interesting subject to touch on to say the least. Thank you for your insight!
I saw “Interview with a Vampire”. Tom Cruise just can’t do vampire. All I see is “Top Gun” when I see Cruise. Pitt on the other hand did very well!
Mmmmmm, Brad Pitt. He’s very hot.
Never saw him on the cover of a
slut novelromance book. That would make sales go through the roof!!I like to read but I am not into the romance novels. They are cheesy in my book. (See what I did there!) I hate the whole, “John exposed his manliness. April gasped! He was throbbing for her! She felt the warmth feel her body as he reached further and further inside her. He pulsated… “ok I am getting carried away but its porn for those who are in denial. YOU ARE IN DENIAL IF YOU READ THESE BOOKS!
In answer your friends question: Never. Moving on…
Vampires… I am into movies about them. I loved Twilight but I rooted for Jacob and I loved all the Draculas. Its not that I lust for them but they are bad ass. Ok wait the only one I slightly lusted for was Dracula 2000 with Gerald Butler… god he was smokin.
Now judge me…. judge me … JUUUDGGGGEEE MEEEE!
Whew!
You slut! JK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO!!!
Marina,you crack me up! “He pulsated” ROFLMAO!!!!!
Thanks for your views! I think you’ve gotten your point across
(I’m still cracking up!)
Yeah, I like the hard core stuff myself.
If you’re going to go down that road, why not go all the way.
LOL! Good point!
I love to read, I love to write, but I don’t read or write “romance” novels. I believe romance and sex have a place in life and writing (a very good place) but if the whole point of the book is the romance, it’s not for me. I don’t watch porn either, but that’s because it really doesn’t do it for me. I’m kinda like WCM (Kjersti) in that I am very concerned about how a woman was raised that she makes these movies for a living, and what her standard of living is. Anyhoo. I don’t necessarilly think women that read them have an altogether sexy sex life either. Some do, some don’t. Many read them as a complete replacement. A real man can never match up to what is in those books, because it is fantasy. Of course, my husband is way better than anything I’ve ever read
but he’s REAL.
We could delve deeper into the psyche of the authors and what makes them tick. Hormones, background, marriage, single life….
You and Bubba Mon are you’re own Romance Story!
~~~Here is my 2 cents.
Women that are HOOKED & Obsessedon these Romance Novels are not getting the SEX they need, want, desire….They are using the Hottness of the books to fill the void
Anyhow, that’s what I’ve always imagined. xxx
That seems to be the consensus. The sex deprived woman.
If the effect is to sexually titillate, then I’d say it’s the same type of thing as porn. Most romance novels definitely fall into this category. However, IMO, there are two main differences between romance novels and porn:
1. There’s far more narrative context for the sexual acts in romance novels. More context means more emotional involvement. Thus they are traditionally considered to appeal more to women who have a stronger link between emotion and sex than men. This is not a moral point, but it does provide an explanation for why they’re more popular with women than men.
2. Romance novels are fiction, so the danger of people (almost always women) being exploited, which is a huge danger in the porn industry, disappears.
So that’s one major moral concern of visual porn that doesn’t pertain to romance novels. However, the same can be said for illustrated erotica, so there should be no moral difference between the two.
Another argument against visual porn being moral is the way it warps viewers’ expectations of men and women and sex in general. Obviously this argument can apply equally to romance novels. Sorry, but most men aren’t farmhands with chiseled jaws and perfectly sculpted abs. This also applies to romance novels that aren’t necessarily sexual in nature, e.g. the Twilight series.
I think this argument only gets as much traction as it does because of the way our culture approaches sexuality. Teens’ views on sex get so warped and distorted from reality because the only source of information they have is porn — which is not a good way to educate anyone. If we assume that someone has a healthy understanding of sexuality, the “porn/romance novels distort your view of sex” argument goes away.
In the end, it’s important to understand what is real and what isn’t. It’s like watching cartoons. Cartoons are usually not intended to be realistic. If you understand what you’re watching is a cartoon and thus not reflective of reality, you’re probably not going to try pulling hammers out of toonspace. If you are inclined to think that a bundle of TNT can blow up in your hands and you’ll be fine, however, you probably shouldn’t watch Wile E. Coyote vs. Road Runner cartoons.
Thank you! *applauding*
The thing with novels is it leaves your imagination to wander and fantasize. You have to get the visual picture in your head. You fill in the dirty details and make it as dirty as you want with whatever character you choose from this story given the characteristics described. It’s safe. Like you said, the danger disappears. But the “WHY” the attraction? Filling a void? Over active hormones?
Visual porn as you put it doesn’t leave much to the imagination, but it does stimulate. Some “like to watch”. And if you can’t have the real thing in front of you, the next best thing is to have it in front of you on tv. If someone finds out you watch “that stuff”, you’re labeled a perv.
Which leads us to how our culture views sexuality. You hit the proverbial nail on the head. If you have a clear and healthy understanding of sex, you just enjoy either venue emotionally unperturbed. But that’s few, far and inbetween. One reads a romance novel for a reason. Like Playboy, yeah, sure, you’re reading it for the ads.
Thank you so much for your view and opinion! Much appreciated!
Personally I’ve never understood the attraction to these romance novels. I had a friend who loved them and was always reading them. She tried to get me to read one of them but it was so ridiculously over the top corny that all I could do was laugh. I have no clue how anyone could ever find them entertaining in any way. People don’t talk or act the way people are portrayed in those books.
I came to the conclusion that most other people have in that I personally feel that the people who are obsessed with romance novels are lacking something in their own lives. These novels fill that void. Is there anything wrong with that? Only if you are robbing a book store to get your hands on the next book.
As far as porn goes, I’ve watched porn and have had the same ridiculous laughs. First of all, the pizza guy NEVER looks like that! LOL. There is a huge difference between enjoying something for what it is and becoming obsessed with something and twisting its purpose. Obsessions can be dangerous. Whether it’s porn, romance novels, or other obsessions, if you are oblivious to its purpose and find yourself obsessed you have more problems than the people who create it. Just my opinion.
Oooooh, I love the smut!!!
You have enough drama in your life just living with Papa.
These books are usually aimed at women. I personally have thrown several at my wife. Again they are often written by women. I tried to write one once but just didn’t have the stamina. It turned into a short story but I’m not sure that women find it that romantic. I’d be grateful for your critique…
Geez, did you hit her? LMAO!!
I will be happy to critique your works!
Yikes, I didn’t realize this post was from back in June. I don’t read romance novels. The book covers all look alike (just different colors of hair, different clothes) and I suspect with a few tweaks, the stories are all the same: I am a beautiful young woman. I meet a hot sexy man. My breasts are heaving. He notices. I can’t succumb to the fire and passion in his eyes. Or maybe I can (He does look like a nice guy…).
ROFLMAO! OMG, you just crack me up!! And exactly!! That’s what they’re ALL about! “My breasts are heaving”….LMAO!!